"It takes a long time..."

"...to grow an old friend." - John Leonard

I just found myself staring at a picture of Stephanie and myself that has this quote printed on it. And it's true... 12 years in our case. And not always good, but we've always waited it out.

Sometimes something that should have been so obvious all the time hits you all at once. This week, that epiphany has been about my friends and friendships. Sometimes I feel that my life is so incredibly small. I work, I come home, I sleep.... repeat x3, then break for a weekend. But this week I've been truly blessed to realize the enormity of my life.



I have a great deal that most can't boast... a good education, a comfortable home, a reliable car, a steady job with a nearly guaranteed 40 hours a week and almost completely recession-proof. And relationships. With people who love me, who think of me. Who PRAY for me. Lately my time with friends has been limited and bittersweet. Life is taking us down different roads, but it's been even more meaningful to me to be shown and told in a hundred different ways that though my role in their lives has changed, my value hasn't.

Change isn't always bad, I'm learning. I'm developing new friendships with the wonderful significant others that God has brought. I'm strengthening other, perhaps neglected, friendships. I'm growing into a new role in my life, in their lives, and in the life of our circle of friends. The past is sort of like my hometown... it's a nice place to visit, but you don't want to live there. The past has given me a million beautiful moments with these incredible women and men, but to stubbornly insist on staying in it is to miss out on a million more beautiful moments. And to refuse to grow and to become and to follow God's will for your life.

There's not much point in this but to say that God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve in many, many ways, but the one thing that I couldn't withstand losing tomorrow are my friends. They are really, very truly, worth more than gold in my life. My family is incredible, but my friends have chosen me. I don't always know why, but they have. And I love them.

"My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson