Does anyone else remember that show? I remember liking it, but then it disappeared into that vortex that seems to crave mid-season sitcoms. Just came back to me while I was scanning my brain for titles :).
So, 27.5 weeks have come and gone. 12.5 to go until due day. Let's not dwell on that now.... I have a carseat and a lot of onesies, a quarter painted and three-quarters textured room, and a borrowed swing. If I think about it, I'll feel overwhelmed, and I'm SO not in the mood for that today :-).
No... today's locomotive of pontification centers around things I've learned or noticed in these nearly 28 weeks.
1) I don't like people as much as I used to. I don't really have any explanation or anecdotes to go with this, it just occurred to me today that I wish a little more every day that I had any sort of technological aptitude so I didn't have to deal with them all the time. I've found myself backing out of relationships that were parasitical, budgeting time with people who have only negativity to share, and wanting to run screaming from anyone with parenting advice... especially those who have parented children I in no way want to replicate. Maybe I SHOULD listen to their advice, actually...
2) I miss pants with zippers. They have a way of holding in all of my abdomen's dirty little secrets and making it look like it's not so bad. I keep waiting for my belly to move from it's present "baby muffin-top" status to regular "baby belly" status and pick up the abdominal slack. So far no luck. Having said that, I can practically hear people lining up to bring to me to my next point...
3) I have grown to hate the words "just wait" more than any phrase in the English language. My real beef here is that they almost ALWAYS come after someone asks how I'm doing. Whether my answer is positive or negative, the reply almost always begins with the words "just wait." "Just wait until you can't tie your own shoes." "Just wait until he's sitting so low you can't walk." "Just wait until you HAVE that baby belly that takes up all the abdominal slack." "Just wait until he's born... you'll be more busy/get less sleep/have less money than you ever dreamed." I do realize that all women have the need to share the pregnancy experience, and at it's root I find this charming and a truly precious connection. The reality of it is that a) I just answered the questions I was asked... I didn't ask how I'd feel in 6 weeks, and b) I don't want to anticipate misery. I'm not always comfortable, but I'm determined to not always be negative about it. I have to be pregnant 12-14 more weeks (PLEASE not 14, Lord!!), and I want to continue to enjoy the last few weeks alone with my precious husband in our comfy little life... even if that life now includes a large c-shaped body pillow and a belly wedge.
4) Everyone has the best way to raise children, and any way in which you disagree is harming your child. I have been a middle-class, Caucasian, reasonably Conservative evangelical church-going Christian for most of my life and have traveled in the same circles, and never in my life have I experienced what I've seen, heard, and read since I've been pregnant. The dogma and propaganda is real, and it's passionate. Crunchy parents have no problem telling Creamy parents they're bad parents by not co-sleeping, not nursing until the kiddo's in kindergarten, not wearing their child on their stomach 24/7, by vaccinating, or for (**gasps**) having to go back to work to keep a roof over said child's head. Creamies have no problem embracing traditional parenting hook, line, and sinker, trusting their doctors, the government, and the FDA without question or research (and throwing stones at less-traditional parenting all the while.) There's no grace on either side for following your own instincts, doing what's best for your family, and putting a little thought into parenting. It's heated and manages to put everyone on the defensive for one reason: we all want to be Supermom, and any hint that you're otherwise instantly and loudly translates to "YOU'RE A BAD PARENT!" My take on things? I have my opinions based on research and real life experience. I will follow my instincts and do what is best for my son and my family (and if it's NOT what turns out to be best for him or us, I will be flexible enough to change it), and I will not tell you about it or defend myself. And I promise that in 10 years, Jonah will be just fine... even if I AM getting an epidural.
5) Morning sickness does not go away. It just returns with less predictable frequency. People need to stop the lies and admit this so first time moms don't think they're home free after their first few nausea-free days.
6) I now am familiar with the location of my round ligaments, sciatic nerves, and several other anatomical landmarks I'll spare discussion of, and I can tell you with about 90% accuracy which tiny body part is poking, kicking, pummeling, or sitting on them.
7) I'm not immune from anything I thought I would be. I have experienced nearly every disturbing, embarrassing, or downright hilarious pregnancy symptom at least once, and I no longer have any shame about it.
8) Everything is sad. T-Mobile commercials, The Biggest Loser, grocery shopping, Tia falling off the couch, American Idol, one of my poor kiddoes having perpetually short pants, ARD meetings. I've cried over all of these things. I also have no shame about this.
9) I will get no sleep after Jonah's born. No wait... I actually did know that, but for some reason people keep telling us like it's news. I thought I'd declare my knowledge of it.
10) I can't wait :-).
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Notes From the Underbelly
Posted by (Re)Becca at 2:29 PM
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2 comments:
Rebecca, you are quite astute about all these things you have mentioned, and I believe you are absolutely right about following your own instincts about your body and your child. However, in another year or two,
I challenge you to confidently and sincerely declare that you have been able to refrain from sharing (with any and every expectant mother-to-be you encounter) much of what you will by then have experienced and endured, from pregnancy to nursing to teething to colic---I say it can't be done! And you know what? I think that, no matter how annoying, aggravating and irritating it is to be on the receiving end (and it IS), there is actually something quite sweet and very womanly (in a "sisterhood-y" sort of way) about the whole thing. I think it would signal a scary-real alteration in our social makeup if we neglected so timeless a tradition, and who knows where we might end up? For now, when you are accosted by every woman, friend, foe or even stranger, who has ever given birth, grit your teeth, smile and nod, and realize you are now a part of a gigantic club. The memberships are lifetime-only, and you WILL at some point, maybe even involuntarily, DO THE EXACT SAME THING! So, embrace it, because you can't escape it, and enjoy the experience of imparting invaluable information to the less-informed. It is as God intended....;-)
I didn't mean to imply that I thought I could completely refrain in that way. For what it's worth, I have a very low tolerance for ANY advice I didn't ask for... wedding planning was only slightly less irritating!
I think what I meant was that I won't be offering up unsolicited details about my choices in child raising much like I don't share my opinions about things in politics or eternal security or pre-vs.-post-trib rapture... it's a hot button issue, and only I can make the choice that's best. I'm not going to open up my life for scrutiny. People need to trust that we've made our choices for our reasons just as I trust that theirs are the best for them.
As for the sharing of the stories, I also won't say that I won't ever do that, but to tell me every time I say I'm tired (after someone else asked!!) that I won't get any sleep later either is a little insulting. THAT's my beef ;-)
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