Catching up

So I didn't update the next day. Or the next. But I'm doing it now :).

Life over the last year has been a continuous reel of newness. As a die-hard changephobe, that hasn't always been good. Fortunately *my* life has changed very little, for better or for worse. I say that, but in the same way, everything has changed.

What hasn't changed: I'm still a speech pathologist, DIY diva, dog mom, SUV driver, coffeephile, friend to as many or more as last year. I still love God, my momma and daddy, my friends, and TiVo. I'm still, to date, perpetually single. This will eventually work out well for many of you when you need babysitters. I still love to travel, even though I'm out of travel buddies and will likely take my next vacation alone.

Everything else around me has changed. I'm the only one of my friends that's single. Don't get me wrong... I'm really glad for them, and it's a great joy to see them all happy. But it becomes increasingly difficult to watch everyone else's life change and go through all the exciting phases while mine seems to be passing me by. It's increasingly difficult to look at it as waiting on God instead of wondering "what's wrong with ME?" or asking "why does God love them more than me?" And you can ask Stephanie.... I lose that battle a lot lately. It's hard to know what role I play in their lives now. It's difficult to realize that their role in my life hasn't changed. I need them as much as I ever did. But my role in their lives has. They don't need me as much. I don't get to hang out or talk to them very often at all, and that's bittersweet because I know they're happy. But as a "quality time" person, this kills me.

Fortunately, I've learned to look at a lot of things about life differently. I've learned to rethink a lot of things, and to look at life through clear eyes and not colored by my feelings about my personal appearance. I take on new opportunities gladly and without fear, and that's a new thing for me. I'm discovering my worth and how to forgive myself. And for all the ups and downs and twists and turns that life has taken me on the last few months, I've needed that new point of view. All in all, life is good. Boring (for me) but good.

I'm praying for new opportunities and to be shown the ones that I'm to take. For the opportunity to serve in everyday things and in everyday ways. To not think so hard about life as a destination, but a journey. Life is hard, but God is good. And I am blessed.

So to sum up: Nothing's changed. Everything's changed. Life is good. God is better.

Now I can start dealing in the present. Stay tuned if I haven't bored you to death already :).